Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Met Gala 2013 Fashion Recap

Towards the end of winter, all Stepfords, fashionistas, and divas expect the arrival of one very important invitation. I'm of course talking about the Met Gala, held in NYC every spring. It's like the Oscars of fashion (with no awards...) I had to decline, again, this year because I have a lot getting-dressed-to-go-work-out-but-never-going to do. I was able to see everything online, and now of course, instagram; as I'm sure most of you were, too.

Every year, there is a theme to the gala. This year's was punk. Yes, punk meets couture. I'm a tad uneasy about it. Apparently, some of the guests were too, as it appears they thought punk could also mean: Medieval, just straight up couture, disco (I'm talkin' to you, Solange), and so on..

Let's check it out:

 First off, let's pull a fashion police on Anne Hatheway. I kind of love this. You know if Hatheway is invited to anything with a theme, she is committing! (And maybe a little dorky. There, I said it.) This dress is fabulous, and she rocked the punk theme. Even the hair is edgy and cool. Can she pull of edgy and cool? Ehhh. Can I? Just as much as Anne Hatheway can. In other words, I want to desperately, but just will never quite be cool enough.
 I have a weird thing about Beyone. I want to like her. In fact, I almost feel obligated to. She's a little too perfect for me, with her "perfect" life and just ok voice. I swear, I'm not in a bad mood while I write this. However, Queen Bey always looks to die for! She's hot! As for this Met Gala look, it's not really doing anything for me, either way. I'm not even sure there is a theme here, at all. Maybe couture mess? The hair is good. Her assets, amazing as always. And, that's about that.
 Solange Knowles. Beyonce's sister. Not punky at all. At all. Don't get me wrong, I think the 'fro is super cool, and she seems like a nice enough girl. But no. Just no. The dress is a little too safe, too. Great dress, but not appropriate for the event. It would be very nice for my wedding rehearsal, though. The Knowles sisters may have missed the mark on the punk theme, but one was gala appropriate, the "other one" wasn't. I have a feeling that Solange is referred to as the "other one" a lot. I'm getting a total Whatever Happened to Baby Jane vibe here.
Katy Perry claimed to have been channeling the "original punk" Joan of Arc. I'm going to try and be nice here, because she drives me nuts. So, I won't say too much about how lame it is to try and go deep when you're typically performing with lollypops over your chest. And the fit and length of this dress? Well, again, I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm, like, angry now.
 That's better. Madonna. She makes everything better. This is, obviously, one strange outfit, but it's cohesive, punky, and in true Madonna fashion, she owns it! And I love it. I do think a gown would have been more appropriate, though.
 Powdered wigs are back, you guys! Nicole Richie was one of the most talked about of the night. I like the dress, but it isn't punk to me. The hair is jacked, but it is punk (was George Washington a punk?), so I need to give her points there. In some weird way, I think as a whole, this kind of worked. The dress was simple enough to let the rest her look, shine. Speaking of weird, that white hair is really flattering to her skin tone. Go figure. It was fine for the evening, but let's hope this color (Powder? Spray from Spencer's? Too much dry shampoo?) washed out.
 Rooney Mara actually just stopped by on her way home from the grocery store. Truly, I think this is how she looks all of the time. I have to say, I love the dress and the shoes. I like me some Rooney, and I know being aloof and sad is her thing, but I would love to see her smile! Just once!
Oh, SJP. We need to break it down in sections. The dress is gorgeous. It isn't punky, but still- it's stunning. The hair and make-up, as always look great. The headpiece. Sigh. I appreciate the couture thing going on. Really, I do. Sarah Jessica never makes safe choices, and I love that about her. I just don't get this. I don't see how it goes with the event. This doesn't really look comfortable either. I feel like I am missing some kind of obvious joke, but all in all, it is totally Sarah Jessica Parker, and like Madonna, she is owning the look. Let's be honest, I'd rather see this, than anything too safe for this kind of night.

Some others worth mentioning are Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, and Jessica Alba. Respectively, we saw preggo Kim in flowers (my only issues was that Kim was looking too short. There wasn't enough skin showing. Too much fabric for her figure- which I think looks fine for someone who is expecting a baby, btw); Miley was punky, and for that, I loved it; Jessica was gorgeous, yet safe. I would have worn her look for any other kind of gala.

I didn't get the designer's names. If it's really important, and you're hoping to buy Madonna's blazer or Rooney's shoes- I'd check Us Weekly, or really anywhere else. Given that all attending were to punk it up a bit, I was surprised not to see anything Debbie Harry inspired. That would have been my go-to. However, I am no expert on anything punk. Shocking, right? I already can't wait to see what the theme is next year. My dream would be a Dynasty theme, but I don't really see that happening. Ever. 


Whether you prefer to be a punk, a Joan Collins wannabe, or whatever else feels normal to you..just be fabulous! 

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